I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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