fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
