She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
