She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
