My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
