**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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