RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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