Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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