It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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