apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
