Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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