all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
