in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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