I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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