Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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