that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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