we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We need to get me chipped asap
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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