so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
