I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
