what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
