My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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