ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
