Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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