She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
