New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
