Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he just fucked me for my cheese.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
