whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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