spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My vagina is very pro this idea
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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