I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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