How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
