love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Randomize
