I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize