You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
