Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
