i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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