when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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