around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
