I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i love accidental penises.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
