Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
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