Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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