Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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