I can tuck mytits in my pants
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
