Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
