I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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