then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
