I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
