I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Watching her eat just hurts me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
