were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
