You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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