is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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