I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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