Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
