im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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