Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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